Rules of Acquisition
The Rules of Acquisition were a numbered series of aphorisms, guidelines, and principles that provided the foundation of business philosophy in Rygelan culture. They were first written ten thousand years ago by Gint, the first Grand Nagus. By midway through the year of 3718 BBY, there were 173 rules, but by the 67 BBY there were 316. Commentaries existed for the Rules. In theory, every Rygelan business transaction strictly follows all 316 rules. There was also a short-lived revised edition of the Rules written by Grand Nagus Zek after having his state of mind was changed by the Abrian Prophets. These rules were almost a complete opposite of the original rules and promoted honesty and charity. After Zek recovered, he ordered all copies of the new rules to be destroyed. Rules of Acquisition 1. Once you have their money, you never give it back. 2. Money is everything. 3. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to. 4. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit. 6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. 7. Keep your ears open. 8. Small print leads to large risk. 9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. 10. Greed is eternal. 13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. 16. A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along. 17. A contract is a contract is a contract...but only between Rygelans. 18. A Rygelan without profit is no Rygelan at all. 19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. 21. Never place friendship above profit. 22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind. 23. Nothing is more important than your health, except for your money. 27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. 31. Never insult a Rygelan's mother...insult something he cares about instead. 33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. 34. War is good for business. 35. Peace is good for business. 40. She can touch your lobes, but never your credits. 41. Profit is its own reward. 44. Never confuse wisdom with luck. 47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. 48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. 52. Never ask when you can take. 57. Good customers are as rare as golden credits--treasure them. 58. There is no substitute for success. 59. Free advice is seldom cheap. 60. Keep your lies consistent. 62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. 65. Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff. 69. When she discusses money for "favors", charge her what she'll pay. 75. Home is where the heart is...but the stars are made of credits. 76. Every once in a while, declare peace....it confuses the hell out of your enemies. 79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. 82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price. 85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking. 89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. 94. Females and finances don't mix. 95. Expand...or die. 97. Enough...is never enough. 98. Every man has his price. 99. Trust is the biggest liability of all. 102. Nature decays, but credits are forever. 103. Sleep can interfere.... 104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory. 106. There is no honor in poverty. 109. Dignity and an empty sack...is worth the sack. 111. Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them. 112. Never have sex with the boss's sister. 113. Always have sex with the boss. 121. Everything is for sale, even friendship. 123. Even a blind man can recognize the jiggle of credits. 125. You can't make a deal if you're dead. 139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. 141. Only fools pay retail. 144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket. 162. Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit. 168. Whisper your way to success. 177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always. 181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. 189. Let others keep their reputation...you keep their credits. 190. Hear all, trust nothing. 192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you can get away with it. 194. It's always good business to know your customers before they walk in the door. 202. The justification for profit is profit. 203. New customers are like razor-toothed greeworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. 208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. 211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them. 214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. 217. You can't free a fish from water. 218. Always know what you're buying. 223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. 229. Credits lasts longer than lust. 236. You can't buy fate. 239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product. 242. More is good...all is better. 255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity. 261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. 263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for credits. 266. When in doubt, lie. 267. If you believe it, they believe it. 284. Deep down, everyone's a Rygelan. 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. 286. When Morn leaves, its all over. 299. After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time. 300. Exploitation begins at home. 301. When no appropriate rules apply, make one up. 302. When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits ... kill the messenger. 303. Time, like credits, is a highly limited commodity. 304. Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal. 305. Money is money, but females are better. 311. Why ask, when you can take? 315. A good lie is easier to believe than the truth. 316. If that's what's written, then that's what's written. Category:Cultures